Wednesday, December 26, 2012

.i hate christmas.

Boy does it feel good to say that out loud!!  It's almost as bad as saying one hates America.  (which I don't; just making a point).

I can't ever remember enjoying Christmas.  I feel certain that I must have as a child; I fondly have several good memories of Christmas when our children were little.  Their excitement in believing that Santa had indeed come down the chimney; seeing them try to figure out what was wrapped under the tree; the amazement at the Santa gifts that had arrived while they were sleeping.  

And I truly appreciate the "reason for the season".  I'm a Christian and believe that it is indeed the time to stop and reflect on the birth of Jesus Christ; I enjoy the hymns we sing at church; the smell of the evergreen and the thought that amidst major chaos in the world at the time, a Savior chose to humble Himself and enter this world as a baby in a manger.

That's where it ends.  All the craziness that goes with it, pretty much wants to make me punch someone in the face.  Mention the fact that each year it starts earlier and earlier simply adds to the misery.  Christmas sales in October?  Poor Thanksgiving!!  Very few people truly take the time to enjoy and be thankful any more.  They're too busy thinking about "Black Friday".  

Then the people who have acted like a bitch all year long suddenly become sweet and kind.  They bake fudge and cookies for the office; they smile when they pass you in the hall.  Someone will let you go ahead of them in line at the grocery store and put a dollar or two in the red kettle in front of the store.  They tear up watching a movie about a Grinch; a little girl who believes in a miracle in New York and a child who only wants to buy his mom a pair of shoes to wear when she goes to heaven. 

Then comes December 26th.  All the warmth and kindness of the past month is tossed to the curb along with the wasted Christmas wrap and the left over turkey.  Trying to go to the store to exchange gifts involves wearing full body armor.  You'll be pushed; shoved; stepped on and cussed out.  The girl at the office who only last week was smiling and baking cookies, will now tell you to "Fuck Off!!" because you accidentally bumped into her coming around the corner.  Those sweet people who were ringing bells for the month of December, will now cut you off without a thought to get that prime parking space.  

Oh I'm not cynic enough to think that everyone is that way.  I believe there truly are good people who have the love of Christmas and all that comes with it in their heart.  I believe that they "live" Christmas year round and December 25th is the climax to all they have hoped for.

I am not one of those people.  I find Christmas sad and depressing.  I always find my mind wandering to those in my family who died and are no longer with us.  I see so much wasted Christmas wrapping; people going deeper and deeper into debt to buy their 10 year old an iPod; their husband a 50 inch tv or 2 carat diamond earring for their wife.  Things that aren't needed but that we must buy in order to keep up with the neighbors.  The Christmas music is almost always depressing and always over played.  And entirely too many gifts are bought for people without the least bit of consideration as to whether it's something the receiver would truly want. I have never, one time, received a gift that I've said I wanted during the year.  See I remember things.  I hear what my husband and my children say during the year.  "Oh look, I love that."  "Wow, I wish I had that in my house".  I file it away.  Then when it's time to shop, I reach into the back of my mind and all that comes flooding back. Most Christmas mornings it has always been apparent that my gift was "Oh shit, we've got to get something for her, too."  Music that I would never listen to; jewelry that I would never wear; clothes that are neither my style or not even close to fitting.  A gift simply to buy a gift.  

And that hurts.  I would rather have nothing than to be an obligation.

So as the season is over and people are still sitting back looking at their glowing Christmas lights; the now empty boxes piled under the tree and beginning the thoughts of doing it all again in 364 days......I say "Get the hell out of my house Christmas.  And take your cookies and fudge with you!"


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