.a real man.

I was laying in bed thinking about what I want my husband to be to me.  His short comings; how he lets me down; and what I wish he would be and what I wish he would do.  Please don't misunderstand.  I love my husband.  With a history as long as ours, I could never imagine not loving him.  But I don't like him very much and he's not the man I wish he was.  So I started thinking about who I do wish he was.  I don't want to change him for another man.  I don't want someone else.  I want him.  There are just things about him I wish would change.  Things that would make me happy; look at him different; with passion and respect.  Things that would make him appealing to me again.  Now, before you go getting all high and mighty on me, please don't think that I think I'm perfect.  I have NO DOUBT that he has a list of things he'd just love to change in me.  I'd love to read it.  I'd be happy to work on it.  Yet I'm realistic enough to know such a list will never appear.  So I'll list mine.  Who knows.....

I wish he would dress like the hot guy he is.  And yes, even at 50 I still find him hot. Jeans, t-shirts, boots.  Boxer briefs, not tighty whiteys.  No holes in his underwear or socks.  

I wish he would wear a suit more.  I read once that to a woman, a suit on a man is what to a man, lingerie is on a woman.

I wish he would wear cologne.  Every day. A nice, subtle scent that would linger on his pillow after he's left the bed.

I wish he would pull me close to him in bed; even when he's half asleep.  Just to say "I want to feel you close to me".

I wish he wouldn't come to bed in a shirt and his tighty whiteys.  Major turnoff!!  If you want to keep warm, sleep closer to me.

I wish he wouldn't fart in front of me.  Or pick his teeth with the corner of a paper plate.  He wouldn't do it in front of anyone else.  Why is it ok to do it in front of me?

I wish he would hold my head between his hands and kiss me.  Long and hard.  Just to kiss me.

I wish he would get up early on Saturday mornings once in a while and bring me breakfast in bed.

I wish he would run me a bubble bath, light candles and sit on the floor and talk to me while I relax.

I wish he would plan and execute dates.  Not come home with a  "Would you like to....."  I wish he would come home and take my black dress out of the closet and lay it on the bed, along with whatever he wants me to wear under it.  Lay a red rose across it and tell me "Get dressed.  I've made plans."

I wish he would turn off the tv and pull out the Backgammon game.

I wish he would go to the gym or get surgery so he would quit snoring.  

I wish he would cook us a meal.  Not say "You want something to eat?"

I wish he would defend me to our children.  They often disrespect me in word or deed; they often hurt my feelings and he allows it.   

I wish he would make me soup or toast and ginger ale when I'm sick.  Without me having to ask for it.

I wish he would take care of our home.  Get rid of the mildew in our bathroom; paint the outside of the house.  Get rid of the junk that fills the backyard.  Fix the toilets so I don't have to keep jiggling the handle.  Make it a home worthy of his wife.

I wish he would show up at my office to take me out to lunch.  Without calling and asking if it was ok.

I wish he would be the first to apologize once in a while.

I wish he would be the Christian leader that he thinks he is.  Lead us in devotions; wake up to pray with me before the day begins; come and pray with me as the day ends.  The Bible calls the husband to be the spiritual leader of the home. Through our daughter's entire pregnancy and while she was in labor and in surgery he never once took my hand and said "Let's pray for her safety and for this grandchild of ours".  If he wants to be a minister, he needs to learn how to minister.  It's not just about hearing yourself talk from a pulpit.  Even Satan can do that.

I wish he would demand respect from his employer.  He is a door mat to them.  He works for little to no pay and is never paid on time.  I wish he would stand up to them or find a job where he is both respected and compensated for his hard work.  They take advantage of him and he continues to allow it.

As I said, I'm not so full of my self to think that he doesn't have a list as well.  I'm far from perfect.  But I can't change what I don't know about.